Description and first chapter can be found here.
Felix’s condition improved, over time, and by now he was able to leave the house to drink. Nevertheless, Lucas remained carefully close to him, especially when he ventured outside the door, as it was to be expected that Alissa would continue to try to get him into trouble if she ran into him alone. So they kept each other company, which often simply consisted of staying silently in the same room, reading or otherwise occupied with themselves. Until finally it was Felix, or rather an inattention on his part, that changed things between them.
As before, Lucas took it upon himself to take care of some of his injuries, which still hadn’t fully healed. Once, as he set about tending to the scratches on his back, Felix lying prone on the bed in front of him, carefully dabbing at the edge of the wound, he accidentally slipped across it – and that Felix’s soft groan at that moment was far from merely resounding pain, they both became immediately aware.
Lucas acknowledged it with a smile, but initially continued as before and would probably have left it at that. Felix, on the other hand, was visibly embarrassed by his reaction. He buried his head in the pillow, even wrapped an arm tightly around it, and seemed to wish he were invisible. The tension that settled over his body carried no less a desire to simply not be here. And yet it also, or perhaps because of it, contained an incredible desire for more, which Lucas couldn’t help but pursue and tease his patient at least a little more.
Felix flinched at first when Lucas this time stroked his fingernails close to a sore spot. The repetition, accompanied by a smirk, produced a similar reaction and an unwilling sound, but now the arm also stirred a little, hinting that Lucas would probably have to deal with resistance in his next attempt.
He didn’t take the chance. Gently, but firmly, he grabbed the forearm, holding it firmly in place, and now stroked his victim’s back with his entire hand, fingers again curled slightly.
Felix buckled under the pressure, initially making a bashful attempt to dodge. Finally, however, he gave in as Lucas continued with the gentle touches, cautiously beginning to allow them. And breathed deeply when the other finally let his hand rest directly on his back.
„It’s okay,“ Lucas whispered to him, by now more serious, leaning down to him and pressing a kiss to his back, right between his shoulder blades. And continued to feel, in the way Felix yielded, his longing for more.
Tenderly he began to explore the other’s body that night, continued to do so in the time that followed. He let him feel his touch, down his back, over his side, along his arms and hands, up to his legs and feet, with tender caresses, gentle strokes, but now and then also kisses and noticeable holding and insistence. And it gave him pleasure just to feel the other’s shyness in the process, the weak attempts to escape him or even to want to get up when Lucas deliberately took a small step too far – only to return to the familiar in the very next moment, the boundary of which he began to shift bit by bit in this way.
Felix was impressively easy to be irritated, and obviously not very familiar with physical closeness. But even in this respect, his reactions were open and honest in a way that captivated Lucas, while at the same time he enjoyed watching him learn to relax more and more under his hand and slowly, very gradually let himself go.
Lucas soon noticed a certain affinity to pain in him, and it took him some convincing until his victim gave up the game of hide and seek and began to surrender. Especially after the torture he had to endure, Lucas remained cautious, not wanting to risk overdoing it and questioning their hard-earned relationship of trust. But when Felix struggled too much with himself, visibly tensing his back and arms so as not to let anything show, when Lucas ran his hand over the last remnants of a scratch in a way that he could be sure must have caused him pain, he suddenly had enough of the charade. With only two jagged movements he loosened his belt, grabbed it strongly – and let the leather dance violently over the back, legs and buttocks of the other, whose arms he held again today, until the latter gave in and no longer held back his moans and finally screams.
Felix cried when Lucas let go of him and visibly winced when the latter dropped the leather lengthwise on the mattress beside him. Only with difficulty could Lucas get him to turn toward him. He even kept his eyes closed when he got hold of his chin and forced him with gentle force to turn his head towards him. But gently Lucas kissed him on the cheek, briefly pressing his forehead against his, making him feel that he couldn’t escape him after all. And that, first and foremost, he didn’t need to at all.
„There is nothing to be ashamed of, Felix,“ he assured him. „And if that bothers you, it doesn’t make any of the things others do to you right. If you need that, it’s fine. I just want you to learn to let me know before it gets too much for you. I would never do that to hurt you.“
Again he kissed him on the cheek, then stroked the back of his hand over it, moving down to his neck, lightly nuzzling his neck.
„So, what do you think?“ he inquired. And finally the other dared and looked him in the eye.
„Please, don’t tell anyone, will you?“ he asked, still seeming uncertain and meek. „I don’t want them to know. It doesn’t end well for me if they know. It never has. And that won’t change.“
There was a kind of desperation in his plea that seemed familiar to Lucas. Slowly, he nodded.
„I’ll keep it to myself,“ he promised softly, grabbing one of the other’s hands and kissing it. „I just want you to be able to tell me what you need. I like seeing you like this. But I don’t want to make the mistake of going too far.“
For a while Felix remained silent and seemed to consider. Then he suddenly grabbed Lucas‘ hand in his turn, pulled it towards him and nestled his cheek against it. And smiled a little as he replied.
„That‘ s what you do anyway,“ he claimed, but still with that smile that seemed teasing, and in a playful way, reproachful.
„Oh, sure,“ Lucas admitted with a smile as well, responding to his gesture and stroking his face. „I just love dancing on your border. But then, shooting further beyond than you can bear, that’s not something I want to do.“
Felix had closed his eyes again, continuing to nestle against that hand that caressed him tenderly.
„You wouldn’t,“ he murmured, but after a while he looked back up at Lucas, who paused and gazed into his eyes insistently and somewhat reproachfully.
“ All right, fine,“ he assured in response. „I’ll try, may I?“
He faltered for a moment as Lucas nodded at him.
„So to be perfectly honest, that was pretty soft just now.“
A tender interaction evolved between them, and even when Lucas got a little rough and gave the other one blows, it was a wonderfully relaxed atmosphere that developed between them. Felix had a wonderful, light sense of humor about him, even if little of it was noticeable at first – the grief for his companion was weighing on him, and Lucas was mindful not to disturb him in the process. For himself, loss was something he had long ago had to get used to. Felix, on the other hand, may have experienced a lot for his age, but he was still some way from completing his first century. It might be, according to the exterior, the third or even already fourth life, which he had to begin now – Lucas‘ master used to call it in such a way, if in their existence cuts took place, which made at least a clear reorientation inevitable. But by the years, he had not yet passed the level that even a mature human being could have reached.
It was the second truly significant threshold, as Kanar used to call it – the point at which it would become apparent whether a mind was capable of adapting to a changing environment. The ability to leave the past behind was an imperative part of it all. And the loss of loved ones, often simply humans, was something that each of them had to learn to endure in order to cross that threshold. It was perhaps the most crucial point for a younger vampire like Felix, after he had survived the first critical phase: the transformation itself and the new life as a creature of night and shadow.
It was hard for Lucas to tell what Felix’s state of mind really was, despite the physical and, to some extent, emotional closeness between them. It might have had something to do with his training in witchcraft, with his inherent, remarkable ability to control thoughts and feelings. Lucas had rarely experienced someone who kept his true inner self so much hidden as this young vampire, whose slender figure at times even made him seem younger than the 21 years he had already experienced as a human when he turned. Boyish even. Even when he was quite sure that Felix trusted him, Lucas was hardly able to predict what was going on inside him. Whether he really went too far once when he pushed him hard, he usually only noticed in the course of the following days.
However, their time together was not enough to get to know him completely in this way. For after barely a few weeks, the younger one already revealed to him that he could not stay here. Alissa was and stayed on his track, and he was haunted by the looks of all those who had seen him suffer there during those two nights. In the long run, there was no place for him in this city.